Confusion

exactly. clueless and confused.

at least i know that i'm humble enough. hahaha.

arunnoooo
too stupid i guess.
too random as well.

Pressure

baby's gotta run xD hoho.

it's july and nixxie is feeling a little bit all over the place.
she's gonna be older by the numbers
and she's feeling pressure.

it's been a while since i wrote here. a lot of things happened but i'm in no mood to type. might as well end it here.

just dance

ohohoho. everything can be cured by dancing. not really, but it helps.

it's just the start of the semester and i'm already failing. not in my academics. i shockingly rewrote my notes in 151 and i've already started reading on the 131 topics.

last teusday i was happy that bedrrom voice was far across the room. and now suddenly with a PERMANENT seating arrangement he ended up beside him. actually i ended up beside him. apparently he pulled up a chair for me beside him and elise. ohohoho. wonderful. leik crapyhouse freshies for coming in all at once to have their ids countersigned the same time that i was making me a lil bit late for 151, ergo the seatmate.

enough about that. for some really random reason, academically i'm starting the sem well. hopefully this lasts. i want to pull my grades up just so i could make my mom happy and of course for some bragging rights. bragging rights is sooooo worth the hard work.

i don't know if 122 will have a field trip but yesterday maam ortiz told us that she will bring her 144 class to Caramoan in CamSur and we are welcome to join them. and just like last semester i'm going to go on another class' field trip since my friends are there 8D

i'm really excited to go to the beach and feel the sand beneath my feet. all summer that's what i wanted to do but sadly my family is not big when it comes to vacations so i didn't get to swim until last sunday when we went to ate's condo. O____O yeah i know poor me.

don't cha want it?

actually i don't. it needs to stop so i could get over it. i know i want to forget about it... or do I? i'm confused. i know nothing good will come out of this. and because i need to breathe normally i need to forget that i had/have a crush on him. ohohoho. nasty.

he's making it all hard on me. with that crazy bedroom voice of his. and him never failing to call out your name. and the grabbing your arm just so you'd notice him.

kamooowwwnnn!!!

this afternoon i walked pass him, i knew he was there but i didn't greet him and he grabbed my arm making me kinda obliged to say hi. and after that i walked pass him again looking straight forward again attempting not to talk or notice or acknowledge him, but then AGAIN i failed. he asked me if i was alright.

ahhhh thoughtful fag. please to be really annoying tomorrow. please. i don't want to be sucked in to your charm again. it will slowly kill me again. ain't one sem of awful misery and confusing happiness enough?

i'm scared of sir gonzalo and his class. he said that it would be the hardest class we'd have this sem. more accounting, more cases. more effort and deffinately more headaches.

First Day Hangover

Se7en and Park Hanbyul. so okay. i'm not THAT happy but i aint THAT sad either. of course it's depressing but still 7 years and counting. if they could survive the pressure of the afermath of them actually acknowledging it to the public then i can say that it would be forever.

So yesterday was the firstday of my thirdday in college. I wasn't psyched in to coming back to school but at least it wasn't as bad as i thought. I have a super classmate every tuesday-thursday in the form of migsdeasis and hopefully rides in and out of the campus in the forms of ly and javi. ohohoho i really hope everything works out that way. 8D

my first class was in UPSE and it never fails to awe me. there are a ton of goodlooking guys in econ haha xD the class was pretty boring and attendance was not required and a book is already advised so now i'm starting to doubt my will to attend that class. haha.

After a few months i saw bedroom voice again. at first i didn't acknowledge his presence. he was there but i didn't greet him or anything. haha. i wasn't planning to talk to him for sometime but sadly it can't be helped. there was even a time when we were alone but we didn't talk much. he looks different. hoho. he's still the same. always says the name and touches your arm when he says goodbye. at least he's the same to me. but somehow different.

anywaysssss..

oh how i miss UPA's tambay moments. the staying late in the afternoon talking about nonesense. the laughing your ass off about really random stuff. I want more of that soon.

listening to the best of clay aiken. his voice soothes me. 8D

anyway i think i should sleep soon. i have an 8:30 class and it's now 3:30 and i think i need to get some sleep xD.

BIG BANG PHILIPPINES' MINI-G!

SRSLY?

okay so not really.
okaaaaaaaaayyyy
maybe i am.
but i am patient.

i was in NCPAG doing my mom's job of printing somethings when this exchange student from africa i think asked for my name and shiz. he said he wanted to keep contact with me. and sorta got my number from my mom.

like come on! why can't guys who could speak english AND tagalog be like that to me? am i not attractive to a filipino's eyes, or do i really look masungit?

i also did something that i shouldn't have done. now i know his grades ever since his first year in the university and now i despise him..okaaaayyy not really him but his lazyness. everything was good in his first year but things started to get out of hand after that. and now i don't think i'll see him next sem. he still hasn't enrolled yet. and for some reason i doubt that he will. OR if he ever does he'll do the addmat thing. whatever. as of now i know that he's not my classmate in any of my subjects. which is good. means i won't get to see him. so.. yaaay....

there are a ton of things i want to do with my life. a lot of things i want to do. a lot of things i want to learn. but sadly i don't know where to start. and to add to that i don't know where my life is going. i know i want to go to culinary school. i wanna be a profesional baker but what will happen after that? will i ever reach that? will my ideas of different recepies actually become something tangible and edible? can i be just like jamie oliver? an unconventional HOT chef with a fun life? i want to be a pastry chef. i want to bake cakes and cookies and muffins. i also want to learn how to work with chocolate and sugar. i want to make colorful creations that would entice both the eyes and the taste buds. i want to make people happy with food. but i also want to work in the philippines. but i know that i can't have both...

*ciao for now
niXXie